1. An alcoholic is someone you don’t like who drinks as much as you do.
2. A meal without wine is like a day without sunshine, except that on a day without sunshine you can still get drunk.
3. The consumption of alcohol may cause pregnancy.
4. A bartender is just a pharmacist with a limited inventory.
5. Alcohol is necessary for a man so that he can have a good opinion of himself, undisturbed be the facts.
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